WOw, long time, no see. BUt guess what i saw today.....Melissa, and Matt, bassit, kissing it up. Awww....wow, I have a tremendious amount of emotion running threw me. But, ill live, this is my movie, there has to be a happy ending.! Damnit!! **Please let there be a happy ending, i dont want to die like...like...umm...Regan!! WOw, ok, just wanted to throw that out there...yea, ok, done
Wow, long ass time sience last update. This shit is old... I dont have the dreams again. And now, as i have just been left behind by both Melissa AND Jhoe... I will spill all.
Heres how it was...my dreams, they were, of course, about Melissa, if you didnt already diduce or weasle it out of joe...eheh! It was about Melissa and i geting back together. The only reason it sucked was cause id wake up thinking it was true, and then in 2 seconds, i realized it wasnt. a loud damnit was issued everytime...heheheheh. Well, ok, i hurt in my stomach everytime i talk to Melissa, or see her, or,... you get the idea. I can only theorize what its all about. Bottom line is it blows. So, i have a question i need answered...Melissa, why did we end? NOw, after reviewing the previous shit, it seems as though i sound like a stalker kind of guy hung up on the past. So, i need to clarify, although i dont think it will help...HAHAH,... ok.
I have always loved melissa. I never stoped. The best times of my life, were WITH melissa. Thats just the way it is, or is it was, or was it it..hehe. OK, i just need the question answered so that i can put thaughts to ease. Im in my own movie. IF you want some elaboration on the movie thing, ask me, but i know you wont, so, click here. Now, if you know me, you will not click on the link cause you know that i will not be initiativeesque...im gunna go with that EXACT WORD...enough to actually DO it for about a week. So if you wont ask, remind me. Oh, yea, remember the Jesus link,...HAHA!!!! Im laughing RIGHT NOW. And thats all you can ask for...for an elaboration on that, refer to the whole asdf.com link thing...ok, done, aqui...
I keep having these dreams. There all about the same thing. I told joe about them. The thing is, i wake up and realize its not real, its not true, so i get pissed, but whatever. Hit Bottom, or whatever. Yea, ok, done, pissed (no mail) again. Angry!!
I never get any damn email. NEWAY, John is free, so thats cool. Umm...i guess, im, as of yet, undecided if being free is a good thing or a bad thing. But i can say this.
One who has never been bound, is a luckey sonofabitch. Joe and I are gunna fight soon. And Melissa is gunna shave her head!! COOLIO!!! Well, shes really not, BUT, it would be trez cool!! But hey, she wont.
Umm...today, i looked in the mirror, and im one ugly bastard. Just a little self realization. I kept trying to convince myself that it doenst matter. YOu konw, let that which doesnt matter, slide. And then i thought about how its uncontrollable.
So, yea, whatever, im cool with it now. Umm... I think im done. 0k. Gunna read, hasta!
Today was great. Joe hit me. RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! It was awsome!! Really really awsome!! What a rush. It still hurts now, it feels like its swealing.
But, no one at home has mentioned it, so it can look bad at all. It doesnt feel terribly painfull, but its cool. MAN WHAT A RUSH. The whole expierience was like having sex for the first time.
DAMN, that was awsome. I still feel the rush. Ahhhhhh....
Tomorow, I will start. All the drama, all the ego, all that bullshit aside, I am going to start tomorow.
I don't know exactly what to call it. Im sick of the drama. Im sick of the soap opera. Im sick of all the bullshit in the world.
I wont call it anything. Here are my list of objectives for tomorow:
I will not slouch or walk with a hump
I will not be part of anything that belitles any one else
I will not care what people think
I will not contribute to the bullshit
I will not be condecending
I will let, and support, joe's hitting me
I will not be emotionless
I will not act
I will not be unnecicarly mean
I will not lie
I will not care about anything that does not need to be cared about
I will stop loving
I will stop hating
I will stop
I will let go
If you see me doing any of this. Tell me. Please